


Never Lose Hope

by headoverhook



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-11
Updated: 2015-06-21
Packaged: 2018-03-30 01:38:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3918361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/headoverhook/pseuds/headoverhook
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She might have become the Dark One, but he would never give up hope. She was his happy ending, and he would not lose her without a fight.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**This is going to be a small ficlet (about five parts) to help me cope with the ending of the finale. I need to reunite them again.**

**Rated T for now because I'm not sure if there will be any smut. At least not until the last part. :-)**

**Disclaimer: The characters don't belong to me, just this story!**

* * *

**Four weeks later (on the Jolly Roger)**

Maybe losing her was the penance for all the sins he'd committed in his long life. All the people he'd hurt, all the people who'd suffered from his hand. Darkness had enveloped him for far too long in his life, and now he'd lost the woman he loved to the darkness.

He told himself over and over again that she wasn't gone. That she could be saved. That they just needed to find her.

But in the long nights, when he was alone on the Jolly Roger, when his heart was heavy with the pain of losing her, when the silence surrounding him pressed down on him – this were the times he struggled with holding on to hope.

How much pain could a man endure before his heart and soul were lost forever?

-/-

He hardly slept anymore, nightmares keeping him awake. Nightmares of Liam dying in his arms, of Milah dying in his arms, of Emma disappearing. He'd lost everyone he loved, and some days the pain was so deep that he just wanted to crumble to the floor and give up.

But then her voice whispered into his ear – the words he waited so long to hear reverberating through his brain.

_I love you._

Whenever he was close to given up, he remembered the good times with her. The laughs, the closeness, the light sparkling in her eyes when she looked at him.

He hadn't said the words back. He hadn't told her, and not telling her before she disappeared was one of his biggest regrets.

"I love you too, Swan," he whispered into the darkness, his hand gripping the railing until his knuckles turned white. "Gods, Emma. I love you."

-/-

Most of the days he was barely holding on, keeping up a facade for everyone around him. Trying to be strong. Trying to be a hero. For her family. For her.

But the moment he stepped on his ship the mask fell, and he was just tired. So exhausted of pushing forward, pushing on, without her by his side.

At first he'd been held up by sheer desperation. She'd just disappeared in front of his eyes, and he'd spent days searching for a way to find her, not sleeping at all. Hardly eating anything. His flask his only companion in the nights where he'd combed through book after book while the rest of her family had been sleeping to keep their strength.

Her father and mother had been trying to help him; even Regina had been trying to cheer him up in her own way. But he couldn't be helped. He lost Emma, and nothing else seemed to matter than finding her, and bringing her back from the darkness into the light.

But days turned into weeks and they still hadn't found a way. He didn't know where she was. Didn't know _how_ she was. Didn't know if she remembered. Didn't know how much of the old Emma was left. If anything at all.

She was his happy ending. Without her he didn't know how to keep on living. It wasn't possible. He just couldn't survive if he lost her too. If she was really gone forever.

-/-

Killian startled awake when he heard a dull thumb as someone jumped down on the planks, followed by hurried steps over the deck, and he pushed himself up from the ground he'd been sitting on, gripping the wheel and pulling himself up to face whoever came on his ship.

He was hardly upright when Henry plowed around the corner, skittering to a halt in front of him, and the moment Killian looked at the lad's face his heart leaped into his throat.

The boy was beaming, his eyes glittering with excitement. He clearly came with good news.

"We found a way," Henry said urgently. "We found a way to find her. We can find Mum, Killian."

He wrapped his arms around the lad instinctively when Henry leaped forward and hugged him tightly, his throat closing up as Henry pressed his head into his chest and squeezed him.

"We'll find her," Henry said firmly, pushing back from him, and a grin split up the lad's face as he added. "We will rescue Mum."

He felt hope flickering up inside of him again, hope that had almost disappeared, and when he looked at Henry, seeing both his parents in his features, Killian suddenly knew that the lad was right.

They would find her. Of course they would.

She was his happy ending.

She would never give up on him, and he would not give up on her.

He would fight for their happy ending.

Until his last breath.


	2. Chapter 2

**Wow, I'm a little overwhelmed by the response. Thank you!**

**Like I said this will only be a small ficlet, with very short chapters. Nothing fancy. But I hope you enjoy it despite the shortness. :-)**

**(And I have a totally crazed idea for how they are gonna rescue Emma. Which you'll see in the next chapter.)**

* * *

**Seconds after Emma disappeared (in another realm)**

She didn't know where she was. Her surroundings looked like the Enchanted Forest, but something felt off. But she couldn't put her finger on it.

Her heart was hurting, tears rolling down her cheeks as she collapsed forward, her fingers digging into dirt as sobs racked her body.

She lost them. She was alone. Completely, and utterly alone.

_Killian!_

She told him too late. She didn't want to tell him as a goodbye, but like always being the savior had ripped them apart. She just had to do it.

Her breath suddenly hitched in her throat as pain rocked through, making her gasp and crumbling to the ground. It felt as if her heart was in a vise, squeezed harder and harder. She couldn't breathe, desperately trying to get air into her lungs. Black spots appeared in front of her eyes. She was about to lose consciousness.

She would die here. Alone.

And then the pain was suddenly gone, and she drew in a huge breath of air. She didn't know how long she'd been lying on the cold ground before she was able to push herself up, her eyes widening as she looked down at her hands.

Her skin was shimmering in a blue-tinged silver, and she held out one hand in front of her, turning it left and right. She'd completely forgotten about this side of the curse. She'd seen Gold as the Dark One once, and maybe she should have been prepared for that change, but she wasn't.

The change of her skin color wasn't her utmost concern right now though, because she felt the first tendrils of darkness enveloping her heart. She tried to shake it, to push the dark thoughts away, but they just kept coming back, darkening her heart and soul.

They didn't fight for her. They just let her go. He just let her go. He didn't love her. He was glad she was gone.

"No!" she cried out, pressing her face into her hands, digging her fingers into her temples. "No, no, no!"

She knew he loved her. He'd given up everything for her. Just to be with her. Without asking for anything in return.

He loved her, and she loved him.

He would find her. Her family would find a way to pull the darkness out of her again. They would.

But no matter how hard she fought, the darkness pushed back in, and the words just reverberated in her mind, over and over again.

He never loved you. You're alone. Like you've always been.

No one loves you.

No one will come.

No one.


	3. Chapter 3

**Two minutes after Henry brought Killian the good news (in Storybrooke)**

He still couldn't believe it. That they'd found a way.

He tapped his fingers against his side, glad to feel the dagger safe in the pocket of his coat. He didn't know why he started wearing the coat again; maybe because he thought the pirate in him was better suited to find her than the man. The man was too broken about losing his love, the pirate was what'd kept him going over the last weeks.

They stepped into the library a few minutes later, his heart almost galloping out of his chest, and his eyes flew over the persons sitting and standing around, seeing the smile on David's face, the shimmer of tears in Mary Margaret's eyes, and even Regina was sporting something akin to a smile.

"It's true?" he asked, surprised that his voice was even working.

"Yes, it's true," David replied, patting him on the shoulder when Killian stepped beside him, and leaned forward to look down at the papers strewn over the table.

"How?"

Five minutes later he was standing there with his mouth wide open, feeling as if his head would almost explode. This sounded totally insane. It couldn't work, could it?

"So let me repeat that. Regina is gonna cast a spell to melt Merlin's and my spirit, then she is gonna use my blood to coat the dagger to make sure I can summon Emma, even if she is in another realm without magic, and then all I have to do is give her True Love's kiss, and hope the spirit of Merlin inside of me is able to wield his magic and can separate her from the darkness, and destroy the Dark One once and forever?"

"Yep, that's pretty much it," Regina said, shrugging her shoulders.

"And you're sure that it'll work?"

"Well, no one ever tried it before, but ..."

"It's our last option," Killian said softly, hesitating only a moment before straightening. "Okay, let's do it."

-/-

He could actually feel Merlin's spirit inside of his mind. The sorcerer didn't speak to him, but he felt the presence, and it was one bloody eerie feeling. Shrugging his shoulders, he adjusted the coat, closing his eyes for a moment, forcing himself to breathe evenly.

"You okay there, Killian?" David asked, looking at him worried.

"Aye, I'm fine," Killian reassured him, his gaze finding Regina's. "If you would please proceed?"

Regina motioned for his hand and he stretched it out to her, only flinching slightly when she pressed the knife into his palm until she drew blood, holding his hand over the bowl. A swirl of her hand, and the dagger was shimmering in a dull red, coated by his blood, and Regina nodded towards it, telling him silently it was ready for use now. "Good luck, Hook."

"Bring her back to us," Mary Margaret said softly, standing up on her tiptoes to press a kiss against his cheek, taking him completely by surprise.

"You're the only one who can," David told him, giving him a shaky smile.

Inhaling a deep breath, he stepped into the middle of the room, holding the dagger in front of him. He tightened his fingers around the hilt, hoping desperately that this would work. "Dark One … Emma … I summon you to my side. Now."

For a few seconds nothing happened, and then a dark swirl suddenly appeared a few feet away from him, and a moment later a person appeared in the dark swirls, crouched down on the ground. He was holding his breath, waiting for her to look up, and when she did and looked him straight in the eye, the breath got knocked out of his lungs.

He had completely forgotten about the changes the Dark One went under upon transformation, and he stared at Emma in utter surprise. Her face was shimmering in a blue-tinged silver, her pupils were actually glowing, and despite everything, she was as beautiful as ever, making his heart ache in his chest.

"Hello, Captain Hook," she drawled, sauntering over to him with a saucy grin on her face. "Nice to see you again."


	4. Chapter 4

**Seconds later**

A small voice in the back of her head kept niggling at her, because a part of her wanted to throw herself in his arms, but she was in control now, the darkness had the power, and she wanted to play with that handsome, little pirate.

"I see you're wearing your coat again," she said in a seductive voice, her nails scraping over the leather as she walked around him. Maybe if she distracted him with a kiss, she might be able to snatch the dagger from him. But before she could attempt anything like that, the Evil Queen interrupted her and pulled the pirate back.

"Hook! I don't think it's gonna be that easy."

Emma let out a soft sigh, shaking her head and throwing him a cocky smile before she walked to the other side of the room. She had time. She would get the dagger later, and maybe she'd seduce one pirate before leaving this town again.

-/-

"Regina, what are you doing?" Killian hissed, trying to loosen her grip on his arm gently.

"This ..." Regina gestured towards Emma on the other side, lowering her voice even further. "This isn't our Emma. This isn't  _your_  Emma. It's the Dark One inside of her, and this Emma … she doesn't love you."

Killian looked over to Emma, his shoulders sagging as he realized Regina was right. He was facing now the same problem he'd been facing all this time ago when he found her in New York.

"So what shall I do?"

"Make her remember her love for you," Regina said. "But keep in mind, she isn't the Emma you know. This Emma … she might be drawn more to the villainous side of you. So you have to step up to the line again, the line between light and darkness. I'm sorry, Killian." He jerked in surprise as Regina used his given name for the very first time, the sympathetic expression on her face even more baffling. "You need to become Captain Hook again. For her."

-/-

**Two hours later (on the Jolly Roger)**

"You alright?"

Killian looked up as he heard David's voice, letting out a sigh as he returned his gaze to the things lying on the bunk. His old pirate attire. Something he thought he would never wear again.

"It's the only way to get her back, Dave. To pull her out of the darkness and ..." He gulped hard, clenching his hand into a fist beside his body. "I love her. More than anything in the world. You know that." He turned around to David then, a sad smile playing over his lips. "But I never told her. I never said the words. I always thought ..."

"I'm sure she knows. Considering all the things you did for her. Neverland, traveling through time and realms for her, not to mention giving your life for her." David said firmly. "She knows."

"What if … what if I can't bring her back? What if I succumb to the darkness right beside her?"

"You won't."

"I wouldn't be so sure," Killian told him softly.

"I might not have been very fond of the idea of Emma and you together at the beginning, but … who am I to stand in the way of True Love?"

"What if she doesn't really feel the same way? What if we aren't True Love and the kiss will fail?"

"There is only one way to find out, Killian. You just have to put your faith in your love and believe."

"Believe in hope." His eyes went back to his pirate attire, and he straightened his shoulders, shoving all the doubts back into the darkest corner of his brain. Emma needed him to be strong. "Well, since Emma insists I'm a hero now, I might as well try acting like one. And heroes never lose hope, right?"

"Right."

-/-

**The same night (on the Jolly Roger)**

"Hello, love."

A smile curled her lips up when she heard the drawl in his voice, and she turned around, letting her eyes roam over him from head to toe. "I see you've decided on a change of wardrobe. I like that very much."

He strolled towards her, putting one shoe beside her on the bunk and leaning forward, invading her personal space. Something else she liked very much. Having him so close to her. Close to touch, close to seduce.

She let her fingers skim over his leather-clad thigh, going higher and higher, eager to close her fingers over the bulge in his pants. "How about you're gonna lose the clothes, Captain?"

"Ah, not that fast, Swan." He stopped her hand then, pushing away from her. "Let's drink first."

"If you need some liquid courage I won't stop you."

"Oh, I don't need the rum to enjoy you." He looked her up and down then, his mouth tilting up into a lopsided smirk as he met her eyes again. "I want to fuck you until you scream for mercy, but I know that anticipation just heightens the pleasure in the end."

"Is that so, pirate?"

"Yes, love. That's so."

He hooked his fingers into his belt buckle, leaning back against the wall in a challenging pose, and she was tempted to show him that he didn't stand a chance against the Dark One if she wanted him to fuck her, but playing with him first promised to be more fun.

"Well, if we need to drink, you need to entertain me otherwise. Tell me one of your pirate stories."

-/-

So he did tell her, watching her carefully, playing on their mutual attraction the whole time. She followed the movement of his fingers over the flask, her tongue darting out and licking her lips when he kept caressing the leather, and then she met his gaze again and he cocked an eyebrow throwing her a lascivious smirk, seeing her eyes narrow, and his heart skipped a beat. He shed his coat and vest after the second story, leaning forward to retrieve a bottle of rum out of the cabinet, catching her ogling his ass, and he grinned. Time to change tactics.

He started to tell her about their adventures, careful to never use her name as he told her their story. He saw the flicker of uncertainty in her eyes, as his words clearly brought memories back to the forefront, but she was fighting it, the darkness inside of her not wanting to give up.

He already wanted to leave her alone for the night, resigning himself to just come back over and over again until he could reach her, when she suddenly pushed him against the wall.

"How about we're going on an adventure together?" she drawled. "The Dark One and Captain Hook. We'd have so much fun together."

He swirled her around, pinning her against the wood and she tilted her head, digging her teeth into his neck, biting down hard, and he tethered on the brink of giving in, of letting the old him take completely over, of letting Captain Hook out to play with the Dark One, to fuck her hard against the wall, to drown in the waves of lust and passion.

But he didn't succumb to the darkness, holding on to the love he felt for this remarkable woman, knowing she wouldn't want him to give up that easily. So he didn't.

"Emma?" Her hand snaked into his pants, wrapping around him and squeezing him tightly, making him groan. His hand shot down to pull hers out of his pants, but she resisted and he closed his fingers around her wrist, struggling desperately against the desire coursing through him. "Emma! Look at me." She looked up at him challengingly, and he took in a deep breath, letting it out slowly. Closing his eyes for a moment, he concentrated, letting go of all the lusty thoughts, letting the love he felt for her washing through him, and then he opened his eyes again and looked at her. She stiffened instantly, something like fear flashing over her expression as he leaned closer, his lips brushing over her shimmering skin until he reached her ear and whispered, "I love you. I've always been in love with you. I'll always be in love with you." He pressed a kiss against her cheek, his voice becoming pleading, "Come back to me."

He felt her fingers flex around his cock, her grip loosening. Holding his breath, he waited for her next move, and he almost wept when her fingers started to caress him, softly pumping him while her other hand came to his cheek, and when he opened his eyes again she was back, he saw it in her gaze, felt it in the way she moved her fingers. Her hand suddenly let go off him, her fingers trailing upwards and splaying out over his stomach.

"Killian?"

He kissed her then, hoping it was enough. That their love would be enough. At first nothing happened, but then magic suddenly rushed through him, he felt the presence of Merlin in him, and all around them, and he held on tight to Emma as the blast of magic threatened to push them apart, something inside of him telling him that they needed to hold the connection. A searing pain ricocheted through his body, his heart squeezed in his chest as he felt Merlin pulling the darkness out of Emma and into him. He fell to his knees, gasping for breath, wondering for a split second if he would now become the Dark One. He would take the darkness in a heartbeat if it meant Emma would be rid of it all.

_Don't fear, Killian. I'll destroy it once and for all._

Blinding pain seared through him, his body seething, and the last thing he heard before he lost consciousness were Emma's frantic shouts of his name.

-/-

Tears were streaming down her face as she pulled his head into her lap, searching frantically for a pulse. She couldn't lose him. She couldn't. A strangled sob tumbled over her lips as she found his pulse, faint but steady, and she leaned forward, pressing her lips on his forehead.

"Come back to me, Killian. You stubborn son of a bitch. You told me you're a survivor. I need you to prove it to me once again." She shook him softly, barely able to see him through the tears. "Wake up!"

She pressed her eyes shut, willing him to come back to her, the fear of losing him again squeezing her heart.

"No need to get rough on me." Her eyes snapped open, and she stared down at him. He was awake. He came back to her. She let out a sound that sounded more like a sob than a laugh, and his eyes softened, though he still couldn't resist to throw her a cheeky innuendo. "But maybe you like that. After all you seem to enjoy tying me up."

"Idiot," she murmured, smacking her hand against his chest.

He was grinning up at her, and she wanted to laugh and cry at the same time, but didn't want to do either, so she grabbed his shirt and pulled him up until she could crush her mouth on his, and kiss him senseless.

She was panting when she needed to come up for air, and she leaned her head against his forehead, suddenly blushing when she remembered where her hand had been only moments ago. She could remember how he'd felt like under her fingers. Velvet steel. How powerful she'd felt when he grew harder and harder under her hand.

She needed him. She needed him now.

"Take me to bed, pirate," she whispered, leaning back to look down at him.

His eyes darkened, sending a shiver down her spine, liquid heat shooting straight between her legs, and then his mouth curled up into that lopsided smirk, the one that promised endless pleasure, and his lilting voice shot another jolt of lust through her body as he rasped, "As you wish, princess."


	5. Chapter 5

**A few hours later (on the Jolly Roger)**

The sun was streaming through the windows, throwing shadows on his face. Her fingers twitched as she was itching to caress his cheek, but she just wanted to look at him for a little while longer without waking him up.

She'd missed him. She'd missed him so much.

She remembered everything. The struggle to keep the darkness away, the feeling of emptiness, of sorrow, when she remembered him. Remembered their time together. Remembered the things they did and didn't do. She fought so hard not to succumb to the darkness, but in the end she'd failed.

But her pirate brought her back, and deep down in her heart she'd known he'd be the one to save her, and that knowledge had preserved the last shred of light inside of her.

She was back now, felt that all the darkness had vanished.

She would need to know how he did it exactly. She'd sensed another presence beside the two of them when he'd kissed her to break the curse of the Dark One. But right now she couldn't bring herself to care.

She knew they needed to get up and go back to town. Find her son, her parents. Let them know that she was okay, that she was really back. But for a few moments she wanted to be selfish, she wanted to stay in his arms and just be.

She looked down at the marks she'd left on his neck and chest, where her teeth had dug into his skin. There were the bite marks, and there were the scratches her nails had left behind.

She shifted slightly, smiling when her body ached at all the right places. He hadn't held himself back either. Her eyes fell on the bite marks on her thigh, the ones he'd left behind as he'd driven her insane when he'd gone down on her.

She imagined him to be like that – giving her pleasure before taking his own. But God … it had been so much better than she could have ever imagined.

His scruff brushing along her thighs alone had almost made her come, and when his mouth closed over her down there, and his tongue had done all these wicked things … he'd made her forget all the dark months they'd spent apart.

She leaned forward, skimming her lips over the mark she'd left on his collarbone and he stirred, his hand ghosting over her spine when he awoke.

"Morning, sailor," she whispered, looking down at him, a smile pulling at her lips as his eyes opened.

"Morning, love."

His voice, hoarse with sleep, shot shivers up and done her spine, and she pressed closer to him, letting out a soft sigh when she felt him harden against her stomach. His eyes were still clouded with sleep, but she also saw the flicker of desire springing up to life, and she bent forward, pressing a soft kiss against his lips.

"We should go back into town, Swan," he told her, but his hand was skimming lower, his fingers pressing against her ass and pulling her closer.

"I know," she murmured, rocking her hips into him, a spark shooting through her as he groaned. "But not just yet."

She climbed atop of him, reaching down to guide him, moaning softly when he slipped inside of her. She didn't know why they'd waited so long to take that last step, but now she couldn't get enough of him. She could spend hours feeling him inside of her, could spend hours making love with him.

Being in his arms, being filled by him … it just was pure bliss, and she just wanted to get lost in their love for a little while longer.

-/-

She never strayed far from him, needed him to be close all the time. She didn't question it. It was just as it was, and apparently he knew what she needed. Like always.

He stayed by her side when she pulled Henry into a tight hug, when she talked to her parents. His eyes were always on here, every time she looked up he was there, filling her with a warm and gooey feeling that made her feel safe and loved.

Even when they were talking with other people their hands were still entwined, or their bodies brushed against each other, and later that night they were sitting in a booth, her body curled into his, his fingers skimming over her bare forearm, and she shifted against him, pressing her lips against his neck, feeling tears brick the back of her eyes.

"I love you, Killian," she whispered, not sure if he even heard it. But his hand tightened around her arm, and she felt his lips brush over her forehead, his scruff tickling her skin.

"And I love you, Emma."

The next catastrophe might be right around the corner, but right in that moment it didn't matter. She was in the arms of the love of her life, and no matter what the future held, they would conquer it together.

After all … true love conquers all.


End file.
